Hearing my life

2
Feb 7

That extremely awkward moment where you come home and your parents are both mad at each other.

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1
Jul 25

I can’t stop crying.

I’m overwhelmed by everything right now.

My aunt has stage one breast cancer, my new Zune cord got chewed up by the puppy and now doesn’t work, my month old phone battery is already mostly dead, almost all the carpet downstairs needs to be replaced because of having sick dogs, got a ticket while in New Orleans, found out one of my old best friends is super catty now and may have always been, I have been asking to hang with people the last two days and not one person has even replied or texted about it except for Michelle but she’s working until Thurday and I won’t see Karee until Friday.

My psoriasis is starting to get on my face, which doesn’t help because my acne that I never had in high school just loves me right now. My fibromyalgia is constantly keeping me in pain, and half the people think I’m either making it up or it’s not that bad. I’m slowly falling back into my depression. We can’t find my work form to do taxes so I can’t get my student loans to go through. My text books this next semester cost about 600 dollars. I need to go take my car in. At work I’m under-appreciated, put up with rude ass customers, and half of my coworkers don’t do their jobs so I have to do it for them. I can’t get a new phone for another four months even though mine is freezing all the time. I’ve felt sick for three days straight. My anxiety is driving me up the wall. My New Orleans trip I’ve been excited for, for 2 years now ended up being absolutely horrible. I have no way to charge my Zune so I can’t even go to the gym with music even though since it’s about 7 years old now you can’t really hear the music through headphones anymore I hate what my body looks like right now. I can’t stop craving junk food. I’ve yet to meet any new guys this summer at all whereas all my friends are married/getting married or have multiple guys that like them that they like as well. One of my closest guy friends here that always made time to hang out with me moved to Austin and my other close friend moved to Colorado. My best friend lives about an hour away which I can’t go see normally because of these shitty 4 hour work shifts. I some how need to get a 3.5 GPA in a year, where as my ex’s girlfriend is a pre-med student with all As while doing 2 jobs and having time for a social life. I can’t get any type of scholarship or grant because I’m middle class even though I’m going to school twice as long as everyone so I’ve been completely on loans for 3 years and will be for another 4 years.

Also I’m a white, straight, middle class American so I’m too privileged to be able to complain about this stuff. I’m the ideal American, so I’m not allowed to have problems or feel bad.

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3
Sep 6

I’m so open about my anxiety and depression. Like I’m not ashamed of it.

Is that normal?

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Dec 4

Therapy Tip #2: Set a daily, weekly, and monthly goal.

Daily goals obviously are going to be easy ones. Something small like “I’m going to make a healthy breakfast” or “I’ll exercise at least 30 minutes today.” These will build up overtime and can add on to your weekly or monthly goals.
Weekly goals are going to be something you’ll see benefits for somewhat. They are things like finishing a book, filling out 3 job applications, or loosing a pound. Things that need to get done but you usually don’t. Things that make you feel better knowing that you’ve finished it.
Monthly goals are all about you. These are the harder goals to keep, but they are all about making yourself happy and a better person. Things such as changing how you view certain things (being more positive, less dramatic, more understanding, less judgemental), being able to understand a concept you couldn’t before, or pushing limits on stuff you hadn’t before (work out, grades, hobbies).

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1
Feb 20

I hate feeling an anxiety attack coming

You don’t know if the feeling will go away, you just wait. And it’s scary because your chest is so tight and your breathing is slightly more shallow than usual and you can feel the watery eyes. Waiting is worse than the actually attack. a

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Mar 29

Its bad that when I meet people somewhere, even if we just talked, I get paranoid that they wont show. Woo social anxiety.

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6
Apr 7

Does anyone relate their depression or anxiety to trying to start up a car that just won’t start.

You get these normal elevated feelings for a small amount of time and then they just die out and you just slump over again. You get so hopeful and it just goes away within seconds.

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1
May 14

I’m always scared I’m going to lose a best friend. I guess because with guys I’m used to being left for other girls, that I assume it will be the same with my friends. I feel like that is a dumb thing to be anxious about at age 22.

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Hearing my life

Filling in the missing pieces of information of life.

I’m so tired of being upset.