Hearing my life
Filling in the missing pieces of information of life.
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When my friends complain about their issues with their boyfriends/girlfriends I feel like punching them because they at least have a relationship. I’ve never cheated or yelled at a guy or manipulated one yet I end up alone and others that don’t follow the same morals do. I feel like it’s unfair sometimes.
And I’m going to be seen as selfish for feeling this.
I try to do everything right, so where is my fairy tale?
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When a song comes on and it was you & your ex’s song..
At first your like..
Then your like..
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In times of tragedy, like the recent shootings or other horrifying events we need to be standing together,
Not pulling apart, pointing fingers, or creating us-vs-them scenarios. Please stop trying to find the bad in situations, stop trying to find who is privileged, and please stop drawing attention from what should really be focused on like those families with lost loved ones.
Take all that negative energy you have and instead of trying to find a blame, such as media or society, put it to use and make life the best you can.
When the Columbine shootings occurred it united us because we all wanted justice and we all felt the pain together. We will never be able to completely stop these horrible things from happening but we can sure band together.
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I can’t stop crying.
I’m overwhelmed by everything right now.
My aunt has stage one breast cancer, my new Zune cord got chewed up by the puppy and now doesn’t work, my month old phone battery is already mostly dead, almost all the carpet downstairs needs to be replaced because of having sick dogs, got a ticket while in New Orleans, found out one of my old best friends is super catty now and may have always been, I have been asking to hang with people the last two days and not one person has even replied or texted about it except for Michelle but she’s working until Thurday and I won’t see Karee until Friday.
My psoriasis is starting to get on my face, which doesn’t help because my acne that I never had in high school just loves me right now. My fibromyalgia is constantly keeping me in pain, and half the people think I’m either making it up or it’s not that bad. I’m slowly falling back into my depression. We can’t find my work form to do taxes so I can’t get my student loans to go through. My text books this next semester cost about 600 dollars. I need to go take my car in. At work I’m under-appreciated, put up with rude ass customers, and half of my coworkers don’t do their jobs so I have to do it for them. I can’t get a new phone for another four months even though mine is freezing all the time. I’ve felt sick for three days straight. My anxiety is driving me up the wall. My New Orleans trip I’ve been excited for, for 2 years now ended up being absolutely horrible. I have no way to charge my Zune so I can’t even go to the gym with music even though since it’s about 7 years old now you can’t really hear the music through headphones anymore I hate what my body looks like right now. I can’t stop craving junk food. I’ve yet to meet any new guys this summer at all whereas all my friends are married/getting married or have multiple guys that like them that they like as well. One of my closest guy friends here that always made time to hang out with me moved to Austin and my other close friend moved to Colorado. My best friend lives about an hour away which I can’t go see normally because of these shitty 4 hour work shifts. I some how need to get a 3.5 GPA in a year, where as my ex’s girlfriend is a pre-med student with all As while doing 2 jobs and having time for a social life. I can’t get any type of scholarship or grant because I’m middle class even though I’m going to school twice as long as everyone so I’ve been completely on loans for 3 years and will be for another 4 years.
Also I’m a white, straight, middle class American so I’m too privileged to be able to complain about this stuff. I’m the ideal American, so I’m not allowed to have problems or feel bad.
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My last rant on Chick Fil A
The concept is simple. You pay for their food, your money becomes their money, they can use yours (now their) money for whatever they’d like.
Easy right? You can’t buy a chicken sandwich and say “I don’t want this to go to any hate groups, okay?” It’s doesn’t work that way. Whether you like it or not your money is partially going to those places.
So two of these hate groups that Chick Fil A has been funding want to get rid of the little gay rights out now, as well as make it legal to be fired due to your sexual orientation, and make PDA of any homophobic actions illegal (yes that means even a kiss). Also the new one, two of these hate groups have agreed with the “legit rape” comments made this week.
So whether you like it or not, your money spent there is partially going to supress gay rights as well as agreeing that if a woman gets pregnant after being raped there is something inside them that “liked it”.
I hope you enjoy not being able to give up just one fast food chain. I’m so so proud of you. >.>
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I don’t think people realize how big of a role some have played in my depression episodes
My depression doesn’t come from my family life, nor does it come from me thinking I’m a bad person. What it really comes from is the build up of small things. People that think that blowing me off isn’t a huge deal, those that makes jokes every time a relationship doesn’t work for me, those that put so much pressure for me to not make any mistakes, and those who laugh it off when I’m actually upset with them.
If I stood up to par with everything that would make people okay with me I’d have to be the strongest, cockiest, and the highest self esteem possible around.
Next time you do those things in that first paragraph to anyone, actually think about how it might affect someone. Self-awareness is the best thing you can do, because no one is that strong, and you never if that person is being affected.
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It seems like I have phases where I tell people about everything going on with me, and then phases like right now where I’m afraid to tell people my problems and emotions.
I know I can find a friend to talk to if I really need to. But it actually makes me more upset talking to friends because they keep trying to make reasons to why things happen, and I just honestly want to not think logically for a change, and just feel upset. Trust me, I can read people 10x more than most people. I can pretty much figure out why people do most things. But that’s what makes it worse, I know why things happen. And the shittiest thing about that logic, is i know it all comes down to not being anyone’s priority. No one is going to put things aside to help me, no one is going to drive hours away to see me, no one is going to stop their drugs or party life for a night to chill with me. No one wants to be around a depressed person, but how am I supposed to get undepressed with no support?
I’m a psych major, why aren’t my training methods working >.<
I'm about to graduate with my BS in Psychology and then I'm headed off to grad school. I do have fibromyalgia, a chronic pain and nerve disorder, so I relate to invisible illnesses. I love learning new things, fandoms, and quotes. I'm here if anyone needs to talk, and I never stop looking for the positive in life.
